So Scratch That Little Niggle Have A Little Wiggle

by Cait Platt

Currently listening to: Moulin Rouge!’s Can Can

The other day a coworker asked me why I wore cowboy boots to work nearly every day.

 

And I took a moment for my answer, because no one had ever asked me why I wear cowboy boots so often without a teasing edge to their voice.  And I’ll admit, I deserve the teases.  There’s zero cowboy culture here. The closest thing you’ll get to cowboys in Northern New Jersey is if Carey Price, Curtis Glencross, and the Thunder From Down Under are all in town.

But I finally told her, in a real snotty voice, “because I can”.

And yeah this is true. No where in the company handbook does it mention cowboy boots are a no-no.

But I wear my cowboy boots because you can’t see my shake.

I run around acting like I’m Wonder Woman.  Never sleeping, always tweeting, working, or talking, never phased, always the cheerleader.  But I’m scared.  I’m terrified of failing, of being a disappointment to myself, the world ending on Friday, or whatever my anxious brain has honed in on this week.  So even when I’m standing at the window, looking out at an empty office, my ankles can still wobble about as I brace myself on the counter.

That’s my secret.

Fake it til you make it.

I just happen to be in cowboy boots.